A Knot in the Thread

I attended the funeral of my dear friend Rhonda recently. And, it was a hard goodbye. 

I met Rhonda more than 20 years ago when she was the room mom for our daughters’ PK3 class. Our two girls, as well as Rhonda and I, became fast friends. Over the next several years, our daughters grew and so did our friendship. We taught school together, went to children’s birthday parties, enjoyed time with each other’s families, attended the same church and shared a love for history, books, shopping and being a mom.

As time went on, our paths led us to different schools for our children and different career paths.

Life has a way of keeping us busy, yet that thread that had connected us all those years ago remained and continued to be sewn into the fabric of each other’s lives.

Life also has a way of bringing us to our knees. And, changing our direction.

Rhonda’s husband Carl had been diagnosed with ALS, and his sickness did just that: changed her direction. Yet, she was a tower of strength. She was an amazing caretaker. And, when ALS took his life four years ago, once again, her strength shone. 

My life changed course with the unexpected loss of my husband Tensey. And, there she was. 

I will always remember being at the funeral home completely overwhelmed, in shock, drowning in desperation, and paralyzed by all of the decisions to make. I looked at my children and said, “I’m calling Rhonda.”

“Rhonda, I don’t know what to do. Where is Carl buried? Can you send me a picture of the headstone you chose? Tell me what to do.”

That is exactly what she did. She helped guide me when I could not find my way. On that day, and many days since. I have asked her questions that only she could answer. We understood each other. And, I am forever grateful. 

This past year, Rhonda and I spent more time together. We still chatted about history, books, shopping and motherhood. Conversations about our children were no longer about birthday parties and homework, but had turned more serious. We talked about being a single parent. We talked about our faith and hope in Jesus Christ. And of course, we talked about our husbands, and loss and widowhood. 

But, we also talked about our futures. About travel and new adventures. About all that was ahead for both of us.

I wrote her a note recently telling her that we had no idea when we met all those years ago how much we were going to need each other later in life. I told her how thankful I was that God brought us together.

She texted me, ”I cried as I read your words. That is so beautiful while yet so true. It is amazing how God works in our lives without us having any idea…I love you my friend and am always here.”

We met as young moms, continued on as wives and mothers, career women always holding on to that thread of friendship. Now, that thread has been tied into a knot. And, it aches. 

The death of my friend has been shocking. Unbelievable. I struggle with the loss of someone so young, so vibrant. I don’t understand, and I don’t know why. But, I do know she is with Jesus and with her husband Carl and with my Tensey. I am so thankful for eternal life in Christ. 

I pray the Lord covers her precious children with comfort, peace and strength.

I will miss my friend. It was a hard goodbye indeed, but there will be a joyful hello when we meet again. 

“I thank my God upon every remembrance of you.” – Philippians 1:3